Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones, because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground, that aren’t as good , but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now, men..men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.